**Will Power**

I had so much fun last night. I got to watch Becca play ball and I got to spend time with her. And about will power. Sometimes you want to do something but you have to keep from doing it, other times you don't want to do something, but you end up doing it. You may be wondering why I'm talking about this (and no its not to embarass anyone). Well Becca and I were talking in my car after the game and she said she needed will power (to keep from doing certain things). But ya see I had to do both of the types of will power last night.

One, no matter how hard I tried not to, I couldn't stop looking at her, I keeping seeing those images over and over, how she looked, the way the light shined on her face, the way the stray pieces of hair fell onto her neck, the way she looked when she was deep in thought, when she looked confused and upset (she has such a beautiful body and mind).

Two, yeah I wanted to kiss her, but I had to refrain from that, and let me say it was a close call. I guess I kind of have this sense of when someone is about to kiss me, cause thats what I used to do with Miranda, and thats what I did last night. I wanted to put off that hug forever, but it was time to say good night. I keep picturing your movements and your facial expressions during the hug and right after that. And I keep seeing your face as you told me that I smelled good. And you said before that your favorite smell would be of the girl or person that you're interested in, I may not be your favorite smell but you like it, so thats always good to hear. And let me tell you, the feeling it gave me was unbelievable. But having to refrain from your kiss was pretty hard, although I didn't completely expect you to try but like you said I must have good reflexes. Trust me there would have been nothing more that I wanted than to kiss you, but theres always something that gets in the way though. You may have lost a little of your will power at that moment, but mine generally always stays strong (and sometimes I wish that wasn't true). First time it was distance, this time you have a girlfriend, and I just can't let someone cheat on whoever they're dating, cause its not right, even though sometimes people just want to live in the moment, but thats one thing about me is that I think about what is to come of those actions.

See part of my pessimistic side always has made me feel that no one would want me, and that I don't have the ability to confuse someone. Although yeah I don't want to confuse anyone but I still don't think I have that ability. So tell me Becca have I made you confused? If so I had no intentions of doing so, and if so I guess I learned something new about myself. But like I said before Becca has a girlfriend, whom will be at her soccer game today. I don't mean to confuse you, I really don't. Lol and yeah I'm repetitive, so like I said before if ya'll are together for a long time, thats cool, but don't lead me on ok, I don't want play no matter how wonderful the person is.

Do I really have the ability to confuse?

Last night was alot of fun and well worth the trouble of getting there. I came from Granbury, so I had to get different directions off the net, which the directions sucked ass. On the way up there the traffic was horrible, I almost got rear-ended 5 different times. I got lost, and ended up going through Crowley completely, came back through Crowley, ended up on a different road. I think I missed a stop sign near Crowley High School, and then I cop turned around behind me and followed me a few blocks. But luckily I ended up on the wrong road cause I found one of the roads on the directions, then I just kind of followed the roads that led me to the North Crowley lights. I was still there 30 minutes early, I thought I was in the wrong place, cause I didn't see ANY soccer girls anywhere, but then the North Crowley girls came out. Then eventually Becca showed up, they didn't have a bus so they had to drive in their own cars. Which had to of sucked.

Well I stood out in the cold for 30 minutes till they got there, then I sat on the metal bleachers the entire game and froze my ass off, but it was well worth it. I was thinking about going to the car during half time, but Becca had to sit on the bench by herself so I figured since she was freezing I'd freeze with her so I stayed out there. Well after that, the rest of the night was pleasant.

!!Ok and this is just for you Rebecca!!

You said you didn't know what your name meant so I looked it up for you, here ya go:

http://www.babynames.com : bound (Hebrew)
http://www.parenthoodweb.com : Captivating; knotted cord (Hebrew)
http://www.babychatter.com : Faithful One (Hebrew)
http://www.babyzone.com : Captivating (Hebrew)
http://epregnancy.com/ : Captivating (Hebrew)
http://www.babynameworld.com/r.asp : Faithful One (Hebrew)

I would have searched for more, but I've run out of time. But I think the meanings of your name, somehow resembles your personality or part of it atleast.

Well I have to go off to a surprise birthday party now, so later.