***BOPPER***

Well it is no lie. Yes I do like Becca, I guess I really always have since I first met her but at that time I didn't know I was bi. All I've really felt about Rebecca is how much of an amazing girl she is, and what a blessing it is to know her. Her intelligence astounds (and yes it is spelled correctly, lol) me. Her mind is what has always drawn me to her. From the first time I heard her speak, I've been drawn to her. She has never been afraid to express her opinions. I love just hearing her talk about everything, and how she feels about them. Especially when she talks about the stars. I have always admired her, I haven't been able to pin point all of the wonderful things about her simply because there are so many. I truly just like talking to her on the net, on the phone, and just hanging out with her. I absolutely love being her friend. It doesn't surprise me at all that so many other people have fallen for her, and people will continue to fall for her.

But seriously Becca I have said this many times, I don't expect anything more from you than your wonderful friendship. I do not intend to spend my time pining (spelled correctly, lol) for something I might not ever have. Cause I've done that before and its no way to live, I was miserable. I truly cherish your friendship and I don't want to do anything that would jepordize that. I expect nothing of a relationship.

Ok yeah I like you Rebecca. And yeah you have a girlfriend. I think it would be awesome if yours and Megan's relationship grew and got stronger, I would have no problem with that, I'd be very happy for you. I don't want you to have to worry that you're hurting me, cause we both know you already have your hands full with that. I never get my hopes up anymore, simply cause I've gotten shut down so many times before. But also cause I'm not going to get excited about something until I know for sure its going to happen.

The other day you said this: "i won't say never, i won't say not in highschool, i won't say no to next month or maybe next week, all i will say no to is right now." Then you said this: "oh, and by the way, the distance between you and i and the distance between megan and i is just about the same." You tell me its a possiblity, but I know better than to get my hopes up. But you see Becca, you told me earlier on the phone that you think your getting to that point again where you just want a makeout buddy. Thats what you had talked about last summer, and I let that get to me alot more than I should have. Thats when I used to let my hopes get up, and nothing ever happened with us then. I trust you with all that I am, so I am believing you that there is a chance for us to be together some day. I have my doubts, but I trust you. But you see Becca, and I told you this and you should know it, I don't want to be a makeout buddy, I don't think I could handle that. I want an actual relationship. So if the time ever comes that you want to make something of a relationship with me, all I ask is that you will be sincere with me and not just want play.

I don't expect anything right now, being friends is awesome. But if something ever comes of us, let it be sincere cause I really just couldn't handle it. I expect nothing. I can promise you that I won't be one of those people you have to worry about getting over you. Hell I didn't even know till yesterday that last summer was considered a date, and that I was on your list of opportunities. Which yeah being on that list is pretty much really weird, but hey if you say I was an opportunity then I guess I was.

But as far as I'm concerned right now, yeah I like you but if nothing ever comes of that, then thats cool, I like you for who you are, my friend. Not as a crush or anything like that, but just being your friend is a sure privelage of this life. And if being more than friends ever comes of that, then that would be a dream come true I guess. Or really that would just be a benefit to know such a great girl, cause then I would get to know you even more.

Well now that I am starting to feel quite weird about this I think I'm going to go, talk to you later. And I don't want this to change anything about us, cause like I said before I don't like putting people in weird positions.

~~~Those Are Some of the Things I'd Never Say, But Now I Have~~~