~~This is the anthem of my life~~

SIMPLE PLAN:
"Welcome To My Life"

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
but no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and their stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking downa
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

I just want to give up on people sometimes. I just get so low and depressed, or sometimes I'm not even like that, I just can't handle people anymore. I get tired of them because I just get so mentally and emotionally exhausted. Here lately I just want to shut down on everything, give up, and just say fuck it. I want things that I can't have. And the things I could possibly have, I can't have fully, not for a long while atleast. The things I don't want, I seem to get. My life lately seems to be full of bad luck, irony, and sheer shittiness. I am just tired of everything and everyone right now (well basically everyone). I just not really satisfied with my life right now. My confidence in myself, and self-esteem seem to decline everyday. I just don't feel like I'm in a healthy environment. At my game on saturday, before the game I got really emotional, and the entire first half of the game I kept hyper-ventilating. I mean thats just an example of how unstable I am. But well I don't want to write anymore, cause once again I'm not on my computer, and I hate this keyboard. So I'm off to bed, laters

Just so ya'll know, my internet at school is not letting me access in websites on my laptop, so thats why I haven't been writing in here lately. And I don't like using other people's computers, so thats also why I'm not writing. So well yeah, hopefully it will be fixed soon. But until then, I guess just be patient or whatever with me not writing. Ok thats all, Laters.

~~Today has been a really good day~~

So I got up early and took a shower, mom came and picked me up and she was going to take me to Katlin's game this morning. The website said the game was at 10:00, so we got there at like 9:40, and waited for about an hour, and all I was seeing was little 12 year old girls. So I finally gave up and I was like ok lets just go back to the dorm. But right when you get off of Cooper St. to get back on to I-20 there are several Vandergriff dealerships. And I was just tired and mom kept slowing down and all this stuff, and I just wanted to come back to the dorm and go back to sleep. Well mom finally turns into the Toyota dealership, and then she turns into the new parking lot rather than the used parking lot, although there was a sign right there. And the employees were watching us, so I felt like a dumbass. But well all of it turned out really well I suppose. We didn't set out to get a car, but we did, I got a new car. Its a 2000 Chevrolet Prizm. Its silver, 4 door, power locks, but manual mirrors and windows. But it has a pretty good stereo system in it. I keep forgetting I have a car now, its crazy. But I like it.

Well as soon as we got back to the dorm, well I got back and realized my dorm keys were still in moms car, so I just chilled in the car and messed with the radio. Then she got the UPC code off of my laptop and she went home. Then it was almost 2:20, and I was like hell, I know Katlin is playing today, and I was like if its not at 10, then it has to be at 3. So I left and drove back to Cooper St. and the kickass thing is that it only takes me like 10 minutes to get there, so I'm thinking I'm going to make most of Katlin's games. So anyways, I made it to Katlin's game, and I think they played pretty damn good. Seriously. After the game she came and sat by me, and then her dad actually came over and started talking to me, which was really cool. Which I'm retarded half of the time and I can't ever seem to understand people, so I felt like a dumbass talking to him, cause I kept asking what. Lol. But well Katlin (and her dad) and Kristen (and her parents) decided they were going to go eat at Bennigan's. And well Katlin and Kristen invited me to go. And I kept asking Katlin if she really thought it was ok if I went, and she kept saying just ask him (pointing to her dad). Well so I leave, and manage to not be able to get in the right lane (I would have ended up having to get on 20), but I turned around and made a loop, and went to Bennigan's, and just as soon as I park, someone call's me and I don't recognize the number. Well I answer, and it was Kat, of course, then she tells me they're going to Applebee's, and so I hear her dad in the background saying where it was (cause I asked), so he knew I was coming and all that. Then while we were eating he kept talking to me like I was a normal person, almost as if nothing bad happened between all of us in the past. It was crazy. I had a lot of fun with all of them, before Kristen and I didn't really talk (like back when I first met her), but today we were all talking and joking around and stuff. I really enjoyed it all, I was happy. I felt safe being around Katlin for the first time since February. It wasn't really awkward at all. Now granted if her mom was there, I would probably not have been allowed anywhere in the ficinity, lol, just kidding-kind of.

So well yeah, I had a pretty damn good day. Even when I come back and get bashed by everyone here in the dorms, my good mood from earlier is still around. And its a good thing. Yeah good days are good. Laters.

I am completely mesmerized by people who can sing and play the guitar!!

~~I found this on someone else's blogger, its freaking great~~

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

• Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
  
• Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with Chinaand Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
  
• The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
  
• A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
  
• Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
  
• The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
  
• If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
  
• A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
  
• Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
  
• HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
  
• Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
  
• A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is soliddefense policy.
  
• Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
  
• The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
  
• Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers foryour recovery.
  
• You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.
  
• What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

~~Suddenly my life gets turned up-side down, and is tilted off its axis~~

I can't seem to grasp reality lately. So many things have just been thrown at me without any notice. Its not something I've been handling well, especially tonight. My emotions came crashing down on me, I broke down, and I almost lost it. I'm thinking maybe I should go back on my zoloft, but I hate it, but I like it at the same time. I mean having insomnia and feeling jittery alot, isn't something I care for, but it seems to calm me down though. But the last few weeks, I've just felt like I've been on an emotional roller-coaster, literally. Alot of things lately, are my expectations of things and my life. And when my my life doesn't go according to plan, it really pisses me off. And it upsets me and pisses me off even more when someone is getting in my way and messing up my plans. I can't seem to get through to people anymore, I can't get them to understand my thought process and my feelings. But granted I don't think that ever happened in the first place but who knows. Lately I've just been feeling so helpless with everything, cause I can't do anything about the situations that I am in. I'm helpless, and I'm beginning to become hopeless cause nothing seems to be changing.

Drama seems to continue to follow me where ever I go, its exhausting having it around 24/7. I'm tired mentally and physically. I am emotionally spent. I cried for awhile tonight, by myself, while lying on a bench on our soccer field, all alone. No one to comfort me, there never is anyone there to console me. When I leave the room upset, no one ever comes after me. I wish there'd be someone around that would come after me...... atleast once and awhile.

Well I'm going to go now, perhaps I'll write more tomorrow, laters.

**This song is so fitting for me at the moment**

AVRIL LAVIGNE:
"Nobody's Home"

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

**And the World Goes Round**

So everyday, we go about our own little lives, doing our own thing. Occasionally our lives intertwine. We walk in, and we walk out, just like that. We just continue and continue to do our own thing. I was just thinking about this, cause I started classes today. And having different classes than everyone else. And its also the fact that, I still seem to go about doing my own thing, like the true loner that I am. I still am the guys best friend, apparently. I'm doing my own thing, and everything else has seemed to stay the same. It just keeps on happening, in a continuous rotation, and the world just keeps going around. Lol I bet none of this made sense to ya'll but who knows, i'm just writing cause I can. Perhaps tomorrow when I have time to think, I will be able to think more clearly. Well I'm going to go to bed now, laters.

~~So, this is an email I sent out, simply cause I was bored one day, and I thought I would post what the other people wrote about me~~

Anna Volpi: in green
Jay Pack: in orange
Gina Tramel: in blue
Miranda Smith: in maroon
Katlin Southall: in purple

Ok so I know ya'll hate these things, but I'm really bored, and one of my friends sent me this, and your supposed to send it to all of your friends, blah, blah, blah, etc. And normally I wouldn't do it, but I have to say, I am curious of what people really know about me. So if you have time or whatever, answers these questions the best you can, and don't be afraid to say you don't know, lol. Or you could just BS your way through it, its all good. Well laters...---Erin

1. My name: Erin Jones, erin, Erin, Erin, Erin

2. Where did we meet?: Soccer Practice, soccer class, I wanna say soccer practice but i think it was officially at school, At school, Soccer

3. Take a stab at my middle name: Lindsay, i dont know, lindsey, Lindsay, @_@ um... well... good question.

4. How long have you known me?: since a little bit befor the middle of my freshman year, for a while, a while, almost 3 years i think, since last fall, I think, or was it the winter months I met you?

5. How well do you know me?: well, i think i know you better than some but not as well as others, pretty good, pretty good, pretty well, Not all that well

6. Do I smoke?: ONLY WHEN DEPRESSED...,sometimes but not really, i hope not, No, >.> Not that I know of

7. Do I believe in God?: dunno, i think you might believe there is a god but your not like HOLY HOLY HOLY, i dont know, i think so, Questionable, I don't believe you do

8. When you first saw me, what was your impression?: DAMN she is short!!!,sweet cute and cool, SOCCER PLAYER!!, im going to hit on her :), OMG! SHE'S SHORT!!!! lol, and cute, of course.

9. My age: 18, 18, 18, 18, 18

10. My birthday: umm April 20th?, 4/20, 4 -20, April 20 1986, April 20th

11. Hair color: well dude it changes alot....right now a dakish brown, brown, brown/orange/light brown, depends on the week, naturally brown, but red most of the time I saw you

12. Eye color: brown possibly hazil, brown, brown, brown, brown

13. Am I tall, short or average?: SHORTY:), short, short, um short, Oh my... short, definitely short

14. Do I have any siblings?: 2 brothers, Kyle(FRICKEN HOTTIE) & Brian?!?!, yes, yes 2, yeah 2 bro's and a step sis, She answered it (but I just realized I screwed up on pasting the answer, but I know she got it right)

15. (opposite sex) Have you ever had a crush on me?: If i was a dude or gay then hell I might!!! j/k, even through im not opposite sex but yes, she left it blank, YEAH, *snorts* Let's think about this... yeah, definitely had a crush on you.

16. (same sex) Have you ever been jealous of me?: Well yea but just cuz your so outgoing & cool to be around & you are very like sure of your self...you know what you want, no, umm.. only when you went to the trainer instead of running!, YEAH, er... I don't think so

17. Who am I in love with?: well, inlove? but your with Renee right now & she is a pretty awesome chick, i dont know, me? j/k, Ranee and me, Well, I know you love me, but are we talking about the same thing? Oh, and nothing's changed, by the way

18. What is one of my favorite things to do?: play soccer?, play soccer, play soccer, write watch movies, write poetry? soccer?

19. Do you remember one of the first things I said to you?: well I remember you making fun of me....haha those were the days!!!, no but maybe something abot renee (ducky), hi?, What ya doin, Erm... a lot of stuff that I was too nervous to commit to memory. I just remember you laughing a lot.

20. What's your funniest memory of me?: Well weve had lots but uhh, Pizza Hut...SPIT BALLS, doing handstands, lots of stuff, o damn when i droped you off your bed, I'd have to say when you were over at my house and you took a bite of that zuuchini boat thing. The look on your face, I still laugh whenever I think about it

21. What's my favorite type of music?: Something you can Jam to in the car, everything, all kinds, lots of stuff, erm... *doesn't know what falls into what category* You have millions of cds, so, I'm not going to answer that.

22. What is my best feature?: you have a nice smile & pretty eyes, your eyes b/c they are the window to the soul, your personality, Your cute ass smile and eyes, Hair, eyes, laugh.

23. What is my worst feature?: hard to say...i dont pick people apart, i haven't found one yet, your inability to connect, not sure, You don't have one.

24. Do you look up or down on me...as a person?: well I definately look up to you, up to you even though your shorter than me, level, up, Up... but physically, down, unless you're standing on something that's a foot and a half or more.

25. Do you think I have morals and values?: Yea i mean everyone does, but they could be alot of diffirent things..., yes, yes i do, yes, Yes

26. Am I a leader or a follower?: leader, leader, depends, leader, I don't know

27. Am I shy or outgoing?: outgoing, both, depends, outgoing, I'll take a stab at outgoing

28. Can you picture me dancing?: well uh sorry dude but umm not really, maybe, oh ya, hand stands!, no, *grins* Um, lol, probably...

29. Can you picture me rolling (down a hill)?: HELL YEA, yes, seen it!, yeah, Yes, and I can picture me pushing you.

30. Would you say I am funny?: YUP, yeah in your own little way, very much so, yes, Yep, I would say that

31. Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules?: half & half, both, usually rebel, both rebel, you rebel... when you're done sleeping....

32. Do I have any special talents?: your leadership skills are a talent, your soccer skills & i am sure you have more..., yes, if awesome handstands is a talent.. yes, yeah, you're poetry

33. What's my best accomplishment?: college i guess, i dont know, depends on what you counts as accomplishments, puting good impacts on peoples lives, lol, your stubborness, though, that can get annoying at times

34. Would you consider me a friend?: YES a very good friend, yes, of course, yes, Yes.

35. Would you call me preppy, slutty, a homie, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else?: well sporty & cool & just YOU!!!, a little of everthing, a homie, yeah sure, You're you, nothing more, nothing less

36. Have you ever seen me cry?: i have seen you close to tears, no, almost, yeas, No, I've seen you pissed off though

37. If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?: shorty, i dont know, E Dawg, KIDO, ... Erin? Or shrimp lol

38. What is your favorite thing to do with me?: chill & go to Ft. Worth & DRINK, hang out and chill, play..talk..chill out, LOTS OF STUFF, I'll go with your answer here.

39. (opposite sex) Would you ever make out with me?: not a dude, yes even though im not opposite sex, she left it blank, YES, We're both female, but, yep, I've already, and would again if I had a chance. Which isn't happening anytime soon.

40. Have I ever been there for you?: OH HELL YEA, always, yes on more than one account, yea, YES, Yes. Many times

41. Am I fun to be with?: Well maybe... KIDDING yes you are, yes, yea, YES, *grins*

42. Am I smart?: yes yes, yes, yup, YES, You're intelligent. There's a difference

43. Am I conservative or unconservative?: dunno what that means...., i dont know, conser, THE FIRST ONE, unconservative

44. Do you love me??: In a friend type way I care for you alot, maybe a little, as a friend.. yes, YES, Yes

45. Name one way I have changed your life of made an impact in it: Being there to listen to my when I needed to talk...and all the good advice, you help understand myself better and whats good for me, you made me think about things, I THINK YOU KNOW, One way? Damn. Being with you was an eye opener. Dating you, for the short time we did so freely, was awesome. You've made a place in my heart, and you'll alway be there. Always.

-Anna Volpi Hey how about you do one for for me now, this little quiz thing.... , well that was kinda long but it was fun talk to you later jay, YOUR GOING TO LOVE ME FOR THIS

~~My Roommate's mom is really cool and nice~~

Dbassinbro: Hi erinPaula's mom here, saw you play today, good game. All that running!!! as you can tell I don't know much about soccer.
erinlJONES: wow, i didn't realize you came, thanks for coming. yeah its a lot of running thats for sure, thats the most i've gotten to play so far, so I was a bit tired
Dbassinbro: you did good, seems like you guys were a bit outnumbered by the other team.
erinlJONES: thanks, yeah having only 2 subs is a killer
erinlJONES: everyone on the team was exhausted since we've already had 2 games within the last week
Dbassinbro: well tell Paula good night for me , gotta go make Dakin read his book. Hope to see you again soon. Love MOM
erinlJONES: ok I will
erinlJONES: goodnight
Dbassinbro signed off at 9:20:44 PM.