MYSPACE:

Subject: Nervous
Posted Date: Thursday, July 28, 2005 - 2:15 PM

I'm nervous again, it seems with every relationship i have I end up destroying a perfectly good thing.  I started being in a really weird mood last week, and it started to go away, then we kind of fought (over a fucking dog name, how retarded is that, something so simple), and now the mood is back just as strong.  I hate this, cause i've done this with every single relationship i've been in.  Nothing wrong, and omg my girlfriend is amazing, a truely great girl.  But its like something just shifted with in me, like it always does. Like I'm completely happy and content, and then something changes and i start to feel trapped with in the relationship, cause I start to want other things and i become unsure about stuff.  And oh one thing that is making it worse, having someone you really really liked in the past, and finally got over, come and tell you that they had liked you too. I mean WTF!!!! So my mind is like spinning, and its stressing me out, i try not to think about it.  But when I've been at work, its all i've thought about.  And the only thing that stops the thoughts is watching tv, hence the fact that i've been watching alot of tv lately. 

I hate this, I hate it so much. Oh and ya know how I posted those quiz thingies the other day. There are 2 answers that really bother me : In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. AND Your risk of cheating is 100% You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.  

Right now i'm so afraid i'm going to do something really stupid.  I think of love as something I can never really attain (as in something I can feel), so therefore I can never have it to discard or throw away. But I also know that I can hook someone, and try to pretend everything is ok, cause i'll hope it will pass, and keep acting happy, then they fall in love with me more, and i fall away from them more.  And right now, my mind is so fucked with, with this person that told me there feelings.  But i've never ever cheated, ever.   And I don't plan to, but that doesn't mean that the more I play things around in my head, the problems that I over analyze, I will end up destroying my relationship, thus setting me free to do whatever. Sound fucked up???? Cause it really is.  You think i'm fucked up??? Cause I am, and you don't even know the beginning of it.  Sorry Im in a very particular mood.    Want to know more about my past and other crap i've fucked up?? then go here my blogger.

But for now, thats my vent session, and I have to go to work now. Laters..

MYSPACE:

Subject: so help me out here....
Posted Date: Friday, July 22, 2005 - 3:22 AM

Ok so if you come in to Buddies II, post here and let me know. Cause up there i've been introduced to so many people, i remember the faces but generally not the name. 

Or how about if you know me from any other place. 

I'm tired of working 2 jobs, and having no free time.  Anyone know of any jobs that pay like $10 an hour that i should look into or that you could refer me to, if you're not on my buddy list email me about it.  Oh have i mentioned even though i quit lonestar park, i'm back at Texas Roadhouse now in GP, and working more hours at the bar.  Yay fun.

And other fun news, most of you probably haven't noticed i change one little detail on my profile.  I am not single any more I am in a relationship with a really wonderful and amazing girl, we've been dating since the beginning of June, and officialized it like 3 weeks ago. But anyways, I'm really happy with her, I don't feel i've settled for anything.  And oh we're getting a puppy early next week. Her friend Karen was getting the puppy but can't take it with her to college this fall, and her mom doesn't want it.  So her friend she was getting it from is now giving it to my girl and I. Its a border collie and boxer mix. Its really cute, all black except the front of his face.  But i'm excited. 

Have I mentioned my apt. ROCKS, but I can barely make the bills right now. ARGHHH!!!!!!!!!!  Any donations?????? Seriously!!!!

Ok enough rambling for tonight laters.

MYSPACE:

Subject: nicknames
Posted Date: Thursday, July 14, 2005 - 2:31 AM

So I was thinking about it for some reason, probably cause at the bar I have a ton of nicknames, and i was trying to think of them all.  So here are most of them I think.

Most Recent: Lilly Pusion, Biggin, Lil' Bit, Shorty, Shortstack, Rabbit Feet, Shortstuff, Smurfette, Smalls, and Youngin, Lil' Sexy, Sugar Dumpling, Shorty Duwap.

Older: Mad Dog, Yoda, Erwin, Simple Simon, Gidget, Kido, C.P., Carrot Top, Hank

Hmm.... help me out here people have I forgotten any?

MYSPACE:

Subject: random
Posted Date: Tuesday, July 12, 2005 - 4:03 PM

 

You are happy, driven, and status conscious. You want everyone to know how successful you are. Very logical, you see life as a game of strategy. A bit of a loner, you prefer to depend on yourself. You always keep your cool and your composure. You are a born leader and business person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The World's Shortest Personality Test

 

You Are 34% American America: You don't love it or want to leave it. But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over. On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead... And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How American Are You?

Your Birthdate: April 20

Your birth on the 20th day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your reading. The 2 energy provided here is very social, allowing you to make friends easily and quickly. Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group. You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection. You are very prone to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil. It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in. When things are going well, you can go just as far the other way and become extremely affectionate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
That one is just so true, its craziness

Your Summer Anthem is Best Of You by the Foo Fighters I've got another confession my friend I'm no fool I'm getting tired of starting again Somewhere new While you may seem bright on the outside, your insides have a distinct angst flavor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What's Your 2005 Summer Anthem?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is 100% You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

MYSPACE:

Subject: Guess what!!
Posted Date: Friday, July 08, 2005 - 11:57 PM
I finally went and got my tattoo tonight. I'd been wanting it for like 4 years, and i spontaneously went and got it, and put all of my thoughts out of my head and just did itt. Its really cool, i like it alot. Its RESPECT ORIGINALITY, my saying that i coined, in Japanese knaji, on the top of my right foot, kind of on the side of it. I'm not supposed to take the bandage off till tomorrow, so i'll have to wait until then to take a picture of it to post on here.  But i will get around to it.  Not supposed to wear my shoe, but i have to work tomorrow, hmmm..... wonder what i'm going to do. Meh.. oh well, just long day, the only thing i'm worried about is working at the bar.  But oh well, have to deal with it i guess. But for now I'm going to bed, Laters.

MYSPACE:

Subject: figures
Posted Date: Thursday, July 07, 2005 - 7:58 AM
It figures that the day i'm finally going to be able to move my furniture, its pouring down rain. On top of that everytime its rained lately I've missed it.  And the one time I don't want it to rain, it does.  Damn. Frustration. Ok i'm going to try and go back to sleep now. Laters

You know how they keep coming up with new ways to prevent kids from becoming obese. Like take candy and sodas out of schools. I remember when our grandparents would cherish the very rare occasions they'd get candy like licorice or a peppermint. Kids are so spoiled today. I was waiting in line at walmart, I stood there watching this kid go through the candy shelves looking for candy. And I'm like geez and people wonder why there kids are unhealthy. I just stood and watched, knowing that I once was that kid. Except back in the day we used to have to beg for candy, now parents just give in so easily. And people wonder why our nation is so damn Obese. Sorry random thought. Laters