Oops... I think I did it again!!

Its weird ya know, its like no matter how hard I try, and I mean try with all of my heart, I always seem to manage to let my hopes get up. Its never the other person's fault though. One thing about me that freaks me out is the fact that I can sense when something bad is about to happen, or something that I won't like. Like before I read Becca's blogger a second ago, I started having this bad feeling, and my senses were right, I didn't like what I heard, but then again I expected what was written, I knew it was coming. I just confuse myself sometimes, hoping, hoping, and more hoping. One the quote that has never seized to amaze me is the one that says "You always want what you can never have." I think that, but then I tell my self not right now, just not right now. But what if not right now turns into never. Thats why I try not to get my hopes up, cause that certain something I want, I'll never have, and yeah sometimes I try to not want that something, but every once and awhile theres that one thing that I just don't want to let go.

I think perhaps, the reason why I don't communicate with several people, but I still check up on them, is because what I check up on gives me some hope, but I know if I directly talk to that person, I will most likely be let down. And trust me let downs are definately not fun.

Ok another quick question, "I had my intentions aimed upon what was right." what does that mean?

I swear I feel like a freaking obsessed person or something, cause I rant so much.

Well hell I guess I'm just a great friend then right, I'll always be the best friend to everyone, cause thats how everything seems to be like lately. I don't want to be with you but I'll be your friend, you hate me but I'll still be your friend, you don't want me but I'm still your friend, you don't really know me but I'm still your friend. I seriously do try so hard not to be pessimistic, but I just can't help myself sometimes. I really don't understand why the fuck I try to hard, on everything, when I pretty much never get the results I'd like. And when I do get those results it was a pain in the ass getting there. Lol but you know what the ironic thing is about my situations? I just end up telling myself, things will get better, just keep your hopes up!!

Oh and by the way, no one has to respond to this.