??Why does this make you speechless??

Ok so yeah I actually wrote that last entry about 6 hours ago. But I've been busy applying for Northwood University on the internet (for their campus in Ceder Hill and in Michigan), and I had to re-register for the SAT and ACT. Its all just stressing me out. College, school, soccer, oh yeah and no job. Oh yeah I haven't wrote about it yet, I found out at work on saturday that as of yesterday I'd have no job. How I found out, not from my boss, no, but from the new schedule. What did they not think that I would see it or what. Yeah my name was no where to be found on the new schedule. And what was really funny about it all, was the fact that they made me sign this paper, that had several things of what not to do, and if we did them we could be fired on the spot. Now a few of the things were, do not turn on the radio to listen to rap and it can only be on in order to listen to the weather in case of emergency, Do not sleep on your shift, Do not play games on the computer or change the screensaver. Those were basically all of the ones that involved me, now the rap music wouldn't have happened, but the other girl I work with, Laura, turned it on one day, then we listened to it again another day. Now I only played games on the computer because we had just got brand new ones (this happened about a month ago), and I was just checking them out, and that was all. Nothing bad happened while doing it either. Ok and the screensaver, was last weekend, I changed it because the screen kept turning off and I thought maybe it would stop it (lol or well thats what I said anyways, I do know how to keep the screen from turning off but I didn't do that, we were just bored so I messed with it), once again nothing bad happened while doing it. Oh yeah and the sleeping thing, now if you know me, you know that I can fall asleep anywhere anytime. But on these occasions I was on pain killers which would make me extremely drowsy.

So yeah... what I found funny was that my boss goes "this is a serious matter, the computers went down twice this week already." And I wanted to go, so what the fuck your blaming me for something that happened during the week, when I wasn't even here, whats up with that. And if I did fuck up the computer, it would have happened when I did it. I can tell you why the computers went down, its cause you've got a fucking 74 year old senial woman working for you, thats why, she calls a calculator and adding machine. Whoa... can we say anger managment, lol. Sorry that woman I'm referring to is Maud, shes an evil bitch. All she does is talk shit, seriously, I'm not even exaggerating. Ok sunday, I was ringing up someone with a credit card, when I typed in the amount, which was $14.76, I typed it in too fast and had already pressed enter, I rung them up for $4.76 instead. Now I asked the person if I could see their card again, and I told them what I did, and it was no big deal, I pointed it out to Maud, and she acted like nothing happened. Now 2 seconds later when the new boss came in, Maud started to flip out, and was like "whoa what did you do, it couldn't have messed up, what did you do?" And I looked at Trish and I explained it to her very calmly, and I was like its not a big deal, I just typed it in too fast. Nothings wrong. I didn't really realize that Maud had done that, until Laura told me that later. Maud had done something similar to that to me earlier in the day too. So yeah I know that any sort of simple mistake I've made, Maud has gone and told my boss. Nothing of what she has done wrong, or any mistake Laura has made, just me. She simply doesn't like me because I'm the only one who will stand up to her, and not ignore the fact of how rude she is. Yeah Laura has done the exact same things I've done, but Maud leaves her alone. Now ok, here we go about Maud: Whenever shes is eating candy, like peanut butter M&Ms to be exact, I've seen her do this like 4 times, whenever some little kids come up to the counter, shes like "do you want any candy? I have some peanut M&Ms here, do you want some?" Then she literally takes some candy out and gives it to them. It scares the shit out of me. And yesterday at work, this man was sitting in the little lobby area with his baby, and it started to cry, so he stood up and started to bounce it, to get it to quiet down. Then Maud gets up and hobbles her way over, and goes "let me see your baby." And I was like WHAT THE FUCK. The man just kind of looked at her, and I can't figure out why he handed over his baby. I know he was probably in shock and was just being nice to her. His wife gave him a really weird look like a minute later when she took her baby back from Maud.

Everyones nice to her, simply cause shes an old woman, and you HAVE to respect old people. Yeah I would never hand my baby over to her, or let my kids take candy from her. Shes so damn scary, you don't understand. Shes exactly like Mimi from the Drew Carey show, no joke, except without as much makeup, and shes older. Ok so heres the story on Maud, she never had a job until she was 65, she is now 74, the park store opened 9 years ago, guess what this job was Maud's first job. Now well, her husband is dead, which I think he died when Maud was 64 or something like that. He had to of died for her to get a job. He whole life she never had a job, she just depended on him. Now what could she have done during that 65 years, guess what, gossip. Hmm... talk shit and have tea parties with her friends. Guess what, shes still talking shit. Thats all she knows how to do. Yeah to prove my point farther that she hates me. Ok example, yesterday Kathryn came in and asked if we had any popcorn, I told her no, that we had sold it all the day before. As soon as Kathryn walks away from me, closer to Maud, Maud tells her to go in the back and look. I didn't realize that either, Laura told me. I was like what the crap. Maud has done this several times with me. It all just makes me so mad, because Peggy (my boss) was so gracious to hire me on the spot, because her friend Liz (my neighbor) talked so highly of me. And now all she has been hearing about me is negative feed back. And I hate for Peggy not to like me, or not to think I'm a good worker or whatever. I really do hate it for people I care about to not think highly of me. I do work hard for Peggy, I am a good person, and I am for damn sure good at that job. I hate for people to be disappointed in me. I would have left so many times at this job, but I didn't because I knew it would hurt Peggy, and the other people I work with, except Laura would look down on me. I like those people. Damn old woman, I can't stand her. All she does is butt into people's business when their just trying to find something to buy. Theres a difference between being a good salesperson and being nosey.

Ok so wow, gee can you tell I really can't stand that woman. Thank God I won't be working with her ever again. However... not having a job really pisses me off, and stresses me out even more. I applied at Chili's last tuesday, and saturday night I applied at Chicken Express. I need a job throughout this year, a good job, I need money for gas and all that jazz. I need to be able to save money so I'll actually have some to pay for college. Northwood costs lik $13,500 a year, and that doesn't included living and all that. So yeah needless to say I've got a bit more stress on me.


!!!Bree!!!
Ok so yeah its no lie. I really really miss Bree alot right now. We became really good friends over the summer, and now I wont see her until the holidays. And also to be honest, ok and I know it might sound like I'm lying about things I've said in the past. But I don't think I've lost those feelings for Bree, I mean 97% of it I just like her as a friend, but the other 3% are well I guess those feelings I wish I had for other people, or well I wish the qualities that I see in her I wish were in someone else that I could date. There are certain things that she did, that I really miss, like the way she brushed her hair, or the way she put it up. Or riding in her car, or eating lunch with her after school, or the way she always wore socks no matter what she was doing. But most of all I miss her smile, seriously. She has such a beautiful soul though too. Thats mainly what it is, I miss her soul, how shes so happy and content with herself all the time. Yet when shes scared or nervous about something she'll tell me. Like how nervous she was about moving, and well shes actually wrote me an email about all that. She tried calling me yesterday but I was still at work. I do, its only been a week, and I miss her dearly. I've found myself doing things that remind me of her, like eating pops and listening to weird music. Yeah I miss her alot. I miss my friend.


~~SARA~~
I miss her alot too!! I've been listening to her cd like constantly since I got it, I finally took it out the other day, cause I didn't want to get burnt out on it, but I still have the lyrics running through my head. Oh did I tell you? She wrote me a song last week before she left, she sand it to me over the phone while playing the guitar to it. It was awesome, I really enjoyed it. She left thursday to move to washington, she didn't pass her driver's ed test again, but I guess her dad was just talking crap about not letting her go if she didn't pass, but really he didn't have a choice because she had to start school, and her school in Hawaii had already started. So yeah she called me saturday, but I was still at work, it bummed me out, but she left me her number where shes staying. I went to wal-mart that night after the movies but I forgot to get a phone card. So maybe tomorrow after school I can swing by and get one before I go to practice. Lol I'm wanting to go do something that reminds me of her. I got my check from work today, but the banks were closed of course, so I'm going to get it cashed in the morning or after school. I'm planning on going to Borders before practice, hopefully. I really miss being able to talk to Sara, and being able to cheer her up. You have no idea how many times, I've wished that I could live near her, just so I could be with her. I would so date her, I would so fall head over heals for her. I'm not just saying that, I really would, shes so amazing you have no idea. I wont allow myself to fall for her right now, but I know its a definate possibility. But one thing I can fall for her with, is her music. I've definately fallen for her voice, its so beautiful, plus well shes and excellent musician too. Wow, ya'll really have no idea how wonderful she is. Amanda you have to catch me with my car sometime soon, so I can play her demo for you.




**Another Letter to Coach Kear**

"Subject: my hands are starting to cramp, from so much typing :)

Kear,
You think that was alot of writing, you should see how much I write in my online journal, I think I might turn it into a book someday. Some people have told me they should turn my life into one of those reality tv shows. If they did I might shoot myself. So well school and all that has been keeping me busy I suppose, I'm only taking English so thats really the only homework that I've had, but I haven't really had any, I'm supposed to expand a paper I wrote last week into a 2 1/2 to 3 page paper, is already a page 1/2, so I don't have much more, it'll be easy cause its about my mom. But yeah how have you been? Hows the whole volleyball thing doing? Soccer has been going great for the most part. I've been a little detoured though. I really hate shin spints. This is the 3rd time I've been to the trainer for them. They just don't seem to want to go away. After our run on thursday I finished once again, but I went from finishing 8th to finishing 13th. I got in the weight room laid on the bench, and was in so much pain I started to cry. I really don't understand it all, running is fine the only part of my body that hurts is my shins. I think its the pavement. But in general soccer is going great. We've kind of taken over the track locker room during the period, all of us seniors and the juniors. Theres just so many girls, it still blows my mind. Everyones working hard, I can see it in them, that they want to be better, no one really complains, we might say its hard but then the next sentence is that its good for us though and that we should keep at it. It amazes me really, everyone's attitude, is actually quite postive. All of the seniors have been doing great, they were a little arrogant that first day, but since then its all been positive criticism and not in a rude way. Everyone is so encouraging to the younger kids and even to each other to keep going and to keep trying hard.

So yeah I'm still stressing a bit about all of the college stuff. I've actually done alot today, with the day off. I applied online to the main college I want to go to, Northwood University in Ceder Hill, but I also applied to their campus in Michigan, both of which have soccer. And from everything I've read, Northwood is one of the best business schools around and it just so happens to have my major. Mike Gaskins, then guy from the diamonds that is helping me with the whole college soccer thing, his daughter plays for Hill College now, and he actually talked to the head coach about me, and he said the coach is interested in me, and Mike said I should go to some of their games and meet the coach. I'm kind of psyched about it, but I know that Hill doesn't have my major, and thats all I'm really concerned about. Education has to come before sports. But I'm keeping my options open, I told my mom about this and she agreed with keeping the options open. So I'm sure I'll be talking to their coach, and checking out their college courses and all that. I know I can get into Hill for sure, academically that is. I'm still trying to find some other colleges to apply to, good colleges. I want the best, but you can't always have the best, but it cant hurt to try.

I still find it quite crazy, that this is my senior year in high school, and honestly it still scares me to death. I mean where did all the time go. It literally feels as if it was yesterday that I was back in freshman year at marching band and volleyball practice. And just getting my braces. Or well even to the beginning of last year, when I first met you and Bree and all the other girls. Time amazes me, its really all mental to me. Speaking of senior year, I'm getting my senior pictures taken on thursday, I hope they all come out how I hope. I'm going to send you some as soon as I get them in.

Ok so yeah, I still have that paper to finish, and I am still writing in my journal. And all I've been doing all day is writing, I wrote Bree and I actually wrote in my journal already today too. So yeah my hands are getting quite tired now. So I am going to go now, I will talk to you later. Have a good day at school.

Love Always,
Erin Jones

P.S.
When we get our club schedules I will send you one"


Ok so well I really have to go finish that english paper now, and its like 11:45. So yeah I'll talk to ya'll laters.