!!Busy, Busy, Busy!!

Like I said nothing seems to slow down. Well I suppose it has a little, or is it the fact that I seem to be daydreaming through it all. I can't quite seem to figure out why I have this constant need to sleep during class, no I don't techincally just go into a class and lay down my head and go to sleep. I like to say that I am a partial narcoleptic (and yes I don't know how to spell that). I can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, any place, literally. Its not even funny. I keep finding myself asleep in all of my classes except soccer. Its really starting to irratate me, I mean I have to be focused on my classes. I have to make the best grades I can, yet what is my average, its a fucking 70 something in 2 of the 3 real classes I have. Its ridiculous, but yet I don't know what to do about it. I can't seem to get out of this funk that I'm in. I swear I'm about to go crazy. I mean its not the fact that I don't understand what I'm doing, cause well I do understand it all, its just the fact of paying attention to what I have to do, and well actually putting my mind to it and doing it. I don't really need a tutor, yeah I should go in early and catch up on my accounting and economics class. Cause well I can't seem to focus in either class, and well I was so unbelievably stressed out on wednesday that I just didn't go to school, I stayed home. I think it helped taking the day off, but then again when I came back to school I was even more behind in my classes.

So yeah I am exhausted right now, I've been working my ass off at soccer. And well with english too, I've been doing some serious reading. I love my english class, cause well I love to read first of all, and well if you know me well enough by now, you should know that I love to write. Lol I mean come on isn't it obvious. One of my main passions for the last what 7 months I guess, has been writing. Not to really vent or anything like that, it just simply is something I like to do. Just to write, usually its really detailed on what I do, other times I'm just to damn tired to. I've found myself thinking lately, wow I should right I have alot to say, but then I remember that I don't have the time. The one main thing I want to write about I can't, details and all, simply cause I can't trust people with it. Isn't it funny how you should be able to trust your friends, and you truly believe that you can, but the at a different moment you find out your friends has been talking crap about you. It doesn't make me mad or anything, I just find it to be quite hilarious. I mean don't you see, why I don't trust people, why I can't depend on someone else. Another thing I find funny, is when people make assumptions about you, and they're completely off. Yes, quite funny. Why do people feel they have to have the need to be involved in someone elses life, why do they feel they need to know everything about someone else's life, just so they can have something to talk about. My life, is it really all that interesting. Why do people feel they need to discuss my life, when will they stop being afraid to actually talk about their own lives. Atleast thats the way I see it, is that everyone is more afraid of themself than anything in the world, and talking about it, is even that much more scarier. Why is it that way? I'm not quite sure. I just know that I'm tired of two-faced friends, and especially those who lie to me (and yes there is more than just ONE person, and trust me that other person knows who they are). Why do people think they can get away with lying, I don't understand it. Especially when they lie to me, don't they realize I can tell when they are lying to me, right then and there I can tell. Its not a fact of finding out from someone else later, I know they're lying to me right then. I think this is funny also, but its also really irritating.

I mean come on think about, think about all the problems we have in the world, where do they come from. They come from our own human flaws, our own selfish need to be on top, our own need to feel more powerful than someone else, the need to feel compelled that they have to lie. Don't people realize that once you lie, you continue to lie, and then you have to make up new lies to cover up the first lies, and then it just begins to be this endless chain of lies. You can never escape from them, either, mentally you will always know that you lied. But yeah think about it, all of the murders, drug deals, starvation, thirst, bombings, ozone problems, etc. I mean think about it, theres just an endless list of horrible things, that are the consequences of human's stupidity. Do people not realize this, or do they just choose to ignore it because they're to lazy to fix the problem?

But yeah sometimes I really don't understand people, and the actions that they make, every person is just so stupid an arrogant in their ways. None of them think that the actions that they make will have any affect on anyone but themselves. By the way nothing brought this on, I've just been thinking about this lately. Ok well the fact that my friends have been lying to me, and being two completely different people sometimes, well it is quite aggravating.

So yeah well, I'm exhausted, I just woke up from a 2 1/2 hour nap, and I've been awak from about an hour an a half, and well I'm starting to get really tired again, so I'm going to go now. I'll try and write more later this weekend. Ok so laters.