~~Ok seriously I love people to death, but this is my journal, my thoughts, I'm not asking for other people's opinions, no offense~~

Ok now you may be wondering what this is all about. As most of you know this is my journal, my thoughts, MY LIFE. I think one of my biggest pet peeves is when people tell me what to do, one cause most of the time they don't know the whole story, and two I'm not asking for opinions. But yeah no offense to any of you, I honestly don't mind opinions but I do not like being told what I should do.

Ok and another one of my big pet peeves is being misunderstood. I have never said that I was thinking about getting back with someone. I did say however, that I have 2 possibilities of being with someone, but I don't want them. Please understand that. I do realize how much Miranda loves me, but I do not want to get back with her. Our personalities don't click in a relationship, at all. One of things I look for most in a person, is to be on the same mind set (level), meaning having the same amount of intelligence, thoughts, opinions, ideas, hobbies, etc. Miranda and I hardly share any of those. Being friends with her is great, thats a whole different story.

"DO IT GET BACK WITH HER ERIN! SHE LOVES YOU! ACCEPT AND LOVE HER!" Honestly, what is this about, where did this coment from??? I never said I was getting back with her, I know she loves me, and I do accept her, but I can only love her as a friend. Trust me what ya'll read is only part of what is really there, none of you can fully comprehend what goes on in my mind. I do respect ya'lls opinions and all, but this is my situation, only I understand fully of how I feel about things. So please respect my feelings, my life, and not make comments like that again. I'm not mad or anything, it just aggravates me. Its just that all this time we've been broken up, everyone keeps telling me that we should get back together, we were a good couple, etc. Everyone keeps telling me she loves me, well no shit. How can I move on with my life when everyone keeps pressuring me with this. I want to very much move on, I am not stuck on her like shes stuck on me (but then again people are probably pressuring her too, which makes it difficult, but then again people tend to act like they hate me and try to turn her against), I can move on dammit. But I feel like theres this forcefield of people that keep holding me in, almost like a jail cell. Like theres a hand tightly grasped around my neck, to where I feel like I'm suffocating. Please people, quit pressuring me, leave me along on the Miranda thing. I am the one who makes my decisions, I am the one who is trying to move on. So please, let me go. Please respect this.


??Love and Lust, whats the difference sometimes??

Seriously think about it. Have you ever just been checking out someone, or had a crush on them, and you say in your head "man I really love them." And then perhaps a few days later you completely forget about them. Perhaps in a relationship you can't get enough of each others body, and it seems like every time you're together you're fooling around or making out (does this make up the relationship?). Now tell me is that lust or love?? What is love?? Ok now have to ever not been able to stop thinking about the person your with (in a non-sexual way), did you ever miss them every moment they left the room, when ever they entered the room did your heart skip a beat? Have you ever just been sitting next to that special someone and felt completely content? Now tell me is that lust or love?? What is love?? My friend Rebecca says that you can't define love, don't define love or feelings, just go with it, flow with it. Just be, no expectations. Me on the other hand I don't try to define it, I'm just trying to understand it. My theory of love, is that it is both equal in love an lust, the relationship should both be emotional and physcial at the same time. But if there is a lack of lust that doesn't mean the relationship is over, you shouldn't give up. I also believe that love is built on trust and confidence in the other. Be able to trust the other that if something goes wrong, they just won't give up, no matter the cost. Love knows no boundaries, love is endless, love is everlasting, love conquers all. I believe a relationship can solely be based on love, there are many circumstances where this is true, it should always be true. I don't believe that a relationship can solely be based on lust, lust is a physicality, a relationship can't last only on lust, I believe its just not possible.

What point am I making, when the emotions aren't really there, its not going to work out in the end (atleast thats how it is with me). I can not base a relationship on physicality, I have to have all of the emotions there. My point again to all of you, this is why things didn't work out between me and Miranda. Now let me finish my saying this, if any of you try to take any of what I said and try to apply it to your life, a.k.a your relationship hopes, I suggest you not (hint hint, this means you Miranda). I'm sick of everyone trying to help her win me back, FYI its not going to happen, so please spare her, let her move on, by trying to help you're only making it worse.


Well this is all for now I have to work in the morning, so I'll write tonight when I get home from work, maybe. Laters