~~This is a letter I wrote to Miranda's sort of girlfriend. Tell me to I seem like a bitch or anything like that, or seem rude like I'm intruding on their relationship?~~


Hey April, I hope you remember me. Erin, you met me at Miranda's that one day. I just wanted to email you and just well, express my feelings. Being on the outside of things, I see alot of things other people don't. Ok so here it goes. Yeah Miranda is my ex, but shes also my best friend, and it kills me to know when shes upset. I broke her heart, and its been hard for her to get close to anyone since. You are the first person shes gotten close to since me, and I think that says alot. Theres something special about you that she can't help but resist. Shes drawn to you. She took a chance with you, she took a risk, she put her heart out there with the chance of getting hurt again. And well she did get hurt, and just to be honest it doesn't help that you messing with her head.

Ok so I know I don't really know you, but you'd be surprised how much I do know about you. So you and Miranda were officially together 5 days, and you got back together with your ex-boyfriend of 3 years, 3 years today right? She told me what he and his mom were saying to you, the whole thing where you were going to hell. Let me ask you something, if someone really loves you, they are going to love you no matter what (meaning if your gay, have something physically wrong, etc.), right? So if Wes really cared about you, he wouldn't care who you hang out with, or if your gay, or any of that. From what I know about Wes, he seems like a complete asshole. And yeah, I do think that you got back together with him cause they were pressuring you, so you got back with him so they'd get off your back. And also I think, you're just used to him, I mean you've been with him for 3 years, your used to the way he treats you, the way everything with the relationship works, so its easier to keep going with the rhythm of it all. You know, love isn't easy, its has its ups and downs, but in the end, everything ends up being ok. You're settling on the easy path right now, but I don't think its necessarily the right path.

Ok and this part comes in. You are always saying how much you think of Miranda and miss her, and miss the little things she does, or her cute nose. And you say when Wes and you cuddle it doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel near as good with Miranda. You're always thinking of her, you can't wait to see her, how ya'll two feel head over heels for each other, how you can't stand not to kiss her, etc. You should ask yourself why you seem to care more about her than Wes.

Ok so the gay thing. You've never felt this way about a girl right? You're scared right? Hell who wouldn't be scared. Liking someone of the same sex is not how we were brought up, so society looks down on it cause its not the normal thing to do. I say fuck them all, love is love, no matter who its with, no matter the gender, race, age, or any of that. Its ok to be scared, but don't hide how you really feel. See I'm one person that believes that a person is cheating even if its by having a gf and bf at the same time, still cheating, still with two people at the same time. So the whole thing with you being with Wes and still kind of being with Miranda, it well bothers me. And well I think you should take a chance with Miranda, take a risk. Quotes:

"I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me. I have accepted fear as a part of life--specifically the fear of change, the fear of the unknown; and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in my heart that says: turn back, turn back, you'll die if you venture too far."--Erica Jong

"What's terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is first-rate. To pretend that you don't need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well you're capable of better."--Doris Lessing

"Take risks ... be willing to put your mind and your spirit, your time and your energy, your stomach and your emotions on the line. To search for a safe place, to search for an end to a rainbow, is to search for a place that you will hate once you find it. The best nourishment for any soul is to create your own risks."--Jim Lehrer

And my favorite:
"To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
They may avoid suffering an d sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves; they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free."--Anonymous Chicago teacher

Ok so my main point, you've been with Wes off and on for 3 years, you just met Miranda not too long ago. You seem to really like her alot, especially if you can't stop thinking about her and all that, oh yeah and still kiss her and all that when you have a boyfriend. Miranda is someone new, ya'lls relationship is new, your liking someone of the same sex is new. New things may be scary sometimes, but once you but that fear aside, you'll find great things. I believe people's fears are mearly mental. Like a road block, you can either choose to stop at it and go no further, or you can choose to go around it and discover the unknown. One thing you have to do, is just be comfortable with yourself, quit worrying about what other people will think, like you parents, Wes or his mom, your friends or what society thinks. Do what makes you happiest. And if Wes really loves you like he supposedly says, then he'll still be there waiting for you if things don't work out with you and Miranda.

Ok so please will you try and make up your mind on what you want, and quit playing with Miranda, shes confused as hell and well its hurting her too. I think things could work out great with you and Miranda, if you actually have it more than 5 days. Give the relationship a chance, take a risk, be true to yourself, do what makes you happiest. You'd be surprised what great things can come from the most surprising places.

Ok so I'm done. I hope you don't think I'm a complete pyscho. And I apologize if you feel I'm butting in to your life. I'm just trying to be a good friend, not just to Miranda, but to you as well. I am not an enemy. I hope I've helped in some degree, rather than making things worse. And the last thing I have to say is, be true to yourself.

Laters,
Erin Jones

BTW, everyone calls me counselor, you can call me that too if you want, lol, cause obviously you now know why they call me that.