~~Suddenly my life gets turned up-side down, and is tilted off its axis~~

I can't seem to grasp reality lately. So many things have just been thrown at me without any notice. Its not something I've been handling well, especially tonight. My emotions came crashing down on me, I broke down, and I almost lost it. I'm thinking maybe I should go back on my zoloft, but I hate it, but I like it at the same time. I mean having insomnia and feeling jittery alot, isn't something I care for, but it seems to calm me down though. But the last few weeks, I've just felt like I've been on an emotional roller-coaster, literally. Alot of things lately, are my expectations of things and my life. And when my my life doesn't go according to plan, it really pisses me off. And it upsets me and pisses me off even more when someone is getting in my way and messing up my plans. I can't seem to get through to people anymore, I can't get them to understand my thought process and my feelings. But granted I don't think that ever happened in the first place but who knows. Lately I've just been feeling so helpless with everything, cause I can't do anything about the situations that I am in. I'm helpless, and I'm beginning to become hopeless cause nothing seems to be changing.

Drama seems to continue to follow me where ever I go, its exhausting having it around 24/7. I'm tired mentally and physically. I am emotionally spent. I cried for awhile tonight, by myself, while lying on a bench on our soccer field, all alone. No one to comfort me, there never is anyone there to console me. When I leave the room upset, no one ever comes after me. I wish there'd be someone around that would come after me...... atleast once and awhile.

Well I'm going to go now, perhaps I'll write more tomorrow, laters.

**This song is so fitting for me at the moment**

AVRIL LAVIGNE:
"Nobody's Home"

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah