~~Being Questioned~~

It always fascinates when people question my actions. Mostly for the nice things I do for people, I don't really know why I do things, I just want to do something nice for someone else, so I do it and I don't much else about it. Like two girls in two different classes, always asked for candy or gum. So when all of the big bags of candy I went and bought each of them a big bag (the good candy, the mix of jawbreakers, gum, suckers, smarties, tootsie rolls, etc.). And I just gave it to them, they asked why, I just said I wanted to.

Today I was questioned about something a little more personal. And even if it wasn't hinting to something, it still kind of hurt my feelings. Straight for the last week, I've been working on a project every free moment, staying up till 2 in the morning, trying to finish it. I finished thursday. I was doing it for Rebecca. Last time we hung out we were listening to one of my Hanson cd's, and she said she should get some of their music. So I figured ok, I'll do this for her. I burned all 6 Hanson cds I have, made special labels (the cover of the cd booklets on the label, not just writing the name of the cd) for them and I copied all of the lyrics off the net, printed them out, hole punched them, made a cover sheet for each cd with the list of songs and the booklet cover picture thing, and put it all into a folder. And well on her website, she has posted a lot of different song lyrics. And I've always written them down, and downloaded them, which I stopped doing for about 5 months. Well I caught up on it all, and I finished downloading all the songs, I put them in order from the date (a few were in the wrong order, but still the right dates), burned them on cds, and made special labels. Then I did the whole lyric thing again, and hole punched them all, made a cover page for it and a list of songs, and put it in another folder. I put all of the cds in a case. Last time we hung out, she mentioned she wanted the new Vertical Horizon cd, so I bought it for her. Well I went today and left it on her car for her (she was at cross-country, so I had to leave it). Well she called me about an hour ago. She said she did understand where the inspiration came from. Just the way she said it, implied something, something making me feel she was implying I was trying to win her over again, to win her heart back. But I wasn't, I was just being me, I was being a friend. I was doing something nice for someone else. I was just showing I cared, and I didn't forget about the small things. Hell I do the things no else expects me to do, so thats why I do them. I don't ask for anything in return, nothing at all. I was doing a simple nice thing for someone else, why can't people see that. There we no emotional attachments to this, I was just doing something nice. So please don't misunderstand that. I did work my ass off on doing this project, but I think it was well worth it, I am very proud of what I completed, that is my simple satisfaction. I don't need anything else. I ask nothing, and I don't expect nothing. Just being nice.

Lol I love how when I'm trying to emphasize my point, I tend to repeat myself alot.

I don't know why I do these random things, I guess its just cause I want people to know that people care, even about the insignificant things. There is always someone out there who cares. You know the anonymous person who wrote me, didn't have to write me, but they did, they showed me that they cared, and I don't even know this person. Why do we find ourselves compelled to help other people? Not everyone is this way, but some of us our, is it because we've been through things, and want to share, or because we have more free time and have more time to think about the smaller things. You know, this anonymous person, didn't have to write me, but I'm very grateful that they did. We've actually talked several times since the first email, and I really enjoy this new person in my life.

I'll write about something else in a new entry in just a sec, I want to save this before my internet decides to be retarded again and loses the information.