ABBA:
"I Wonder"

This park and these houses, old streets I have walked
Everything dear, will it be here
One day when I am returning?
My friends will get married, have children and homes
It sounds so nice, well-planned and wise
Never expecting surprises

I wonder, it’s frightening
Leaving now, is that the right thing?
I wonder, it scares me
But who the the hell am I if I don’t even try
I’m not a coward
Oh no, I’ll be strong
One chance in a lifetime
Yes I will take it, it can’t go wrong

My friends and my family, this dull little town
Buses I’ve missed, boys that I’ve kissed
Everything old and familiar

I wonder, it’s frightening
Leaving now, is that the right thing?
I wonder, it scares me
But who the the hell am I if I don’t even try
I’m not a coward
Oh no, I’ll be strong
One chance in a lifetime
Yes I will take it.........
Yes I will take it, it can’t go wrong


I took the chance, and I did it all wrong, it wasn't the right decision. I was most definitely a coward. Shes on my mind everyday, I can't stop thinking about her and how things are between us. I left cause i thought it was the right thing to do, but I was so incredibly wrong. I came back and she wasn't here, shes hidden herself behind the wall that she built to protect herself from me. Its what I would've done too. If i left and came back again, I think she wouldn't be here at all, she would have already left. I fear that, I fear that will be what becomes of us, seperated for ever, never to find each other ever again. I once believed that if you stood up to someone and admitted that you were wrong, that there could be a chance of forgiveness and things working out in the end. But I don't think it will happen here, i'm not that lucky. But if things were as simple as that I would stay here in a standstill until the moment arrived. I would spend the rest of my life trying to get her to forgive me, I really would. I'd do anything to prove to her how much I love her, to get her to speak to me. Anything, I really would. I look back to comments I'd left her, promising to fight. I gave up, didn't even try. But i'm here to say that I've grown alot since then, I've figured out alot. And my hearts points to her, telling me to fight for her now, to fight even when there is no hope. I have to fight to win her back, fight to earn her trust again, fight for her love. I was scared before, I'm scared now. I imagine we'd face the same things as we did before, but I don't fear them as much now, cause i realized that if I have to go through all the obstacles just to be with her. Then so be it. It would be worth it, cause I can't imagine my life without her in it.

I must sound insane for writing what I do, most i'm sure think its all bullshit, most do. Perhaps I am insane. If you only knew how I felt when I was with her, the feeling I get everytime I see her, everytime I look into her eyes, hear her voice, to see her art. If you knew how I felt, then maybe then you would understand. Perhaps the best day of my life was waking up next to her that day only to look out the window to see the earth covered in snow, and to lie there next to her and feel her warmth. I love her. I really really do. One of our friends once said this: "this might be obvious but the reason you and erin can't let go of each other is because you love one another." Shes right, I can't let go, and I won't let go.

So I wrote all of this, and my computer froze, so if it sounds a little off, its cause rewriting things, it never turns out quite like the original.