~~The College Life~~
 
Is it all its cracked up to be? Is it all I hope it to be? I hope so, it has to be worth all the hard work, it has to be worth all the heartache I've suffered, yes I did just say heartache.  I can do anything I want with this college, I've done everything to get into it, to persue playing soccer there and all that.  But when it comes to financial stuff, theres not a damn thing I can do, and when I try to discuss financial stuff with my mom, I just get shut down, making me feel stupid and helpless.  Is it so wrong that I want to know what is going on? I mean I am an adult, I have been for along time, but why can't she treat me like one.  But really its also the fact that the last 2 weeks shes just been treating me like shit, well in my opinion atleast.  Even though I know she doesn't mean to, but shes been lashing out at me lately. I hate it when she does that, when Kyle was here she'd lash out at him, but when hes not here, it all comes down to me.  Even the most innocent of things lately, shes been bitching at me about it.  So I just say ok, and stay out of her way the rest of the day, or well to simply put it, I avoid my own mom.
 
Well I found out the other day that my tuition per trimester is like $7,000, and well thats without the school grants.  We don't know yet how much financial aid I will get, and I'm supposed to get some sort of soccer scholarship, although I know it will be a tiny one, if I even get one. Only 2 girls from the team graduated, so theres a very limited amount of money this year, but I'm not worried about that, I just want to play, I don't care about the money, as long as I get to play.  And we still don't know if I will be able to do work studies, which is working for the school, and you can choose to put your paycheck towards your tuition or other stuff.  Most definately mine would be going towards tuition, minus a set amount like $50 for food in my dorm.  But really you see, I don't need food in my dorm, because I'll have 3 set meals everyday at the cafeteria, which might I add has pretty damn good food, lol.  But anyways, so without any help, my total tuition per year is like $21,000.  And both of my brothers will be going to school at the same time, and I really don't want to take out a loan, cause paying back loans is a bitch.  But most likely that's what we'll have to do. 
 
See I hate financial stuff, I'm majoring in international business, and NU offers several terms abroad, and I really would like to do them, but I don't know if I'll be able to, because of money.  The terms abroad would be very good to have on my resume, very good.  I've been stressing out majorly lately, about all this financial BS.  I can't help it, I know what my mom is having to pay for, I'm not ignorant like most people my age.  Plus well, theres the whole getting back in shape thing, and I have to push myself on it, and that gets pretty hard, I don't have a friend to go work out with or any of that, I have 21 days to get back in shape. I was running a few weeks ago, but then had to go work, and then I've been sidetracked since.  I went and played soccer with my brother the other day for an hour 1/2, it was an alright work out, definately good for my soccer skills, but I didn't do a whole lot of running.  And I've been doing crunches and some other stuff I can do in the house (like some yoga, and pilates).  Its stressing me out, I need Coach Morgan to call me up, and make me go work out with her, or her come get me, seeing as how I don't have a car anymore (oh thats another pain in the ass with college, I have no car).  But arrgghh... I'm tired of having to deal with it all, but I start 2-a-days on Aug. 10th, and I have to be in the best shape I can to impress my coach, but as of now I'm not so sure its going to happen.
 
Well I just needed to vent that I guess, that's all I have to say for now.  I think I've finally gotten back into my groove about writing.  I have to have something to do during the day besides sit on my ass, lol.  Well I'm going now, laters.