~~I hate having to have conversations over text messages, they take forever~~
so yeah this is a conversation (kind of) between Miranda and I earlier, and I thought I'd post what was said, because I had alot of important stuff to say, and I'll emphasis on it later.

Miranda: Sorry i haven't called you lately but i just wanted to drop you a note to say HI.
Me: You're a bad liar. You've listened to Lindsey, and thats all good. By the way yes I read the email from her. I don't need any excuses ok. I told you my thoughts and put it out there and apparently got shut down but thats cool. I just needed to put it out there one last time and I got my answer and its for the best. Like you have no clue how good it is.
Miranda: What are you talking about?
Me: You're not very specific
Miranda: On any of that I don't have any idea how good what is?
Me: Having things worked out in my head for the first time in like forever. And if you'd been talking to me you'd know about more specific stuff.
Miranda: Erin i'm so confused now on everything in my life right now.
Me: I wasn't speaking of anything that had to do with you not even a little
Me: What too good to write back. let me make things a little easier for you. we won't be together again. you're too afraid of me lol. seriously
Me: I've got my closure with you now, you gave that to me. I could tell how scared you were and i do know nothing would work out between us. I needed the closure and now i've got it. I wish i could talk to you right now cause it'd be alot easier to explain what i mean
Me: Like I feel happy right now seriously happy. I'm not confused anymore and I'm not lonely. I feel content. I no longer feel compelled to make out with someone.
Me: I have finally gotten closure with you, Katlin, Sara, and Rebecca (I didn't need closure with Shanina). And I can finally move on. I've also finally dealt with some other stuff and put it away. I've gotten my heart back and you have no idea how comforting it is.


Ok and I know Sara will say something about my heart later, and so will everyone else. I have written in the past about not having a heart or that it is cold and hard as a stone, or something like that. And that I couldn't feel any real emotion. And that was very much true at the time, and for the longest time. But with this closure and acceptance of other things I've finally gotten my heart back, or well i can feel again, and it isn't the pain I used to dread so much. I really do feel happy. I've finally had someone teach me how to feel again and taught me to be happy again. And also, I've been dealing with a lot of stuff the last 2 months. I haven't been taking my medicine. And things have been so much more clearer to me, my decisions and my thoughts I can feel now, dammit. And I don't think anyone besides me realizes how wonderful this is, well I know one person besides me. But I am choosing not to bring up that person at the moment, I'm saving that for a later time. But I wanted to share this with ya'll. Really I've felt this way for a few weeks, but I didn't want to say anything about it, cause I was afraid that I would jinx it, ya know. Lol well ok I'm going to go put up some more posters. So I'll talk to ya'll laters.