MYSPACE:

Subject: random thoughts again
Posted Date: Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 10:48 AM
I think I could have loved you, but you dropped me and ran away, never to speak to me again. Is it possible that I am scared of girls now too? Yes yes, it is true, I am. I find it odd how, for quite awhile I was so ready to settle down, want a girlfriend and be with her for quite awhile. Yet now, I find myself just wanting to date, well more so just find friends to hang out with. Yes, I just need friends. So recent discovery, I smelled your perfume the other day, the bottle I bought so I could have the scent of you around. I put it back in the box, left it there. Got it out a couple more times. Sprayed in on my bed, and interestingly enough I've slept better with that scent there. Isn't that weird. Hmm... I wonder if you even still wear that perfume. So I went to the mall the other day, bought some new shorts, i like them alot. A boy from work is interested in me and knows I'm gay. Normally I blow guys off. But for some reason I am intrigued with him. Do I have a crush? A crush on a boy? Thats a new idea. Hmm... my life confuses me. My life has been very uncertain for the last 3 weeks or so. I hate uncertainty, it makes me miserable. Still on the search for a roommate, I was supposed to meet this girl this week. Her mom works for my mom. But she has finals this week. Shes 2 years older than me, used to be a cheerleader in highschool. Her mom is really cool, I hope she is too. But I think shes as desperate for a roommate as I am, so I think it will work out. The apartments i checked out, the ones I fell in love with. The lady from there, called me today. I expected those apartments to be taken already. But I told her I just hadn't worked out a roommate situation yet, but by next week hopefully I would. So shes supposed to call me next week. I'd be uber happy if I could move into this place. Its badass. So this girl from work, Ashley, shes really cute. A basketball player. Shes funny too. I've been talking to her more lately, cause i'm shy. I think shes straight, but I don't care though, I'm not hitting on her. I think she'd be cool as a friend. But anyways, I totally thought she was a senior in highschool, and like around the same age as me. Come to find out shes 21. Its craziness. But I know the feeling. But yeah shes cute. So, my mom got mad the other day, cause i'm fixing her car for her. Mad cause I'm spending my money on her. I got her oil change, etc. And I took the car to the dealership, had them check how bad the brakes really are. Turns out the front axle is at ZERO, meaning theres basically none there. But the back axle is fine. So I called her to ask if I could borrow her car for a few more days, and of course had to tell her why. And then thats why she got mad. Cause its a lot of money to get new brake pads, etc. But it needs to be done. I find it kind of amusing that she got mad. But anyways, its time for me to take a shower, put on my khakis and white polo, and head to work. Call my cell sometime. Hope ya'll have a great day. Laters